How did the dog get into the locked cemetery at night?
He used a skeleton key.

How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?
He foamed at the mouth.

How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your back yard.

What should you do if you see a vicious dog?
Hope he doesn't see you.

What should you do if you find an angry 500-pound dog in your kitchen?
Eat out.

What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver?
Time to get a new watchdog.

If you take your dog downtown, where should you leave him?
In a barking lot.

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?
Sleep on the sofa.

If your dog jumped into a swimming pool, what is the first thing he would do?
Get wet.

What did the dog do with the history professor?
They got together and talked over old times.