What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
"Well, doggone !"

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog wearing your favourite tie?
Go see a doctor. You have been seeing too many 500-pound dogs lately.

When is a dog most likely to enter the house?
When the door is open.

What did the dog take when he was run down?
The license number of the car that hit him.

Why did the dog's owner think his dog was a great mathematician?
When he asked the dog what six minus six was, the dog said nothing.

Why didn't the boy advertise in the paper when his dog was lost?
His dog never reads the paper.

Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise?
Because the captain stood on the deck.

When George Washington was a general, why did he like to have dogs around?
They were very helpful during the "Roverlutionary War!"

What do you do if your dog eats your pen ?
Use a pencil instead !

What did the dog tell his owner when he saw the dogcatcher coming?
Nothing. Dogs don't talk.