"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
- Gene Hill
"In dog years, I'm dead." - Unknown
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car,
in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your
ear." - Dave Barry
"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog,
it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."
- Aldous Huxley
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three
times before lying down." - Robert Benchley
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's
how dogs spend their lives." - Sue Murphy
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts
to bite people themselves." - August Strindberg
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely
certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." - Fran Lebowitz
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from
a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They
must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" - Anne Tyler
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious
cult." - Rita Rudner
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a
can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." - Joe Weinstein
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
- James Thurber
"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with
pets." - Nora Ephron
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are
wonderful." - Ann Landers
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should
have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke
Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one
of the most fond memories!" - Dr. Tom Cat
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
- Ben Williams
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
- Edward Abbey
"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it
look like the dog did it." - Unknown
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his
tail." - Unknown
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the
dog does." - Christopher Morley
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
- Josh Billings
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." - Holbrook Jackson
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
- Andrew A. Rooney
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his
life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat
of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." - Unknown
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite
you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." - Mark Twain
"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
- Smiley Blanton
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt,
and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck