Why do dogs lie down?
They can't lie up!

Why did the dog say he was an actor?
His leg was in a cast.

What did the dog say to the candle?
Are you going out tonight?

Why are dogs such poor dancers?
They have two left feet.

What did the dog get when he multiplied 497 by 684?
The wrong answer.

What kind of modeling clay does a dog use?
Fi-Do!

Who gave the dog a black eye?
Nobody gave it to him. He had to fight for it.

What is a baseball dog?
One that chases fowls.

Which side of a dog has the most hair?
The outside, of course.

What is taller when it sits down than when it stands up?
A dog.