Why did the dog sleep so poorly?
By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!

When does a dog go "moo" ?
When it is learning a new language !

What did the dog use to make his kite?
Flypaper.

Why did the dog sleep on the chandelier?
He was a light sleeper.

Why did the dog say meow?
He was learning a foreign language.

Why did the dog run in circles?
He was a watchdog and needed winding.

What word did the dog always pronounce incorrectly?
Incorrectly.

What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road ?
A mutt in a rut !

Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?
The tomato was in a can.

Why did the dog jump off the Empire State Building?
He wanted to make a hit on Broadway.